I can't tell you that yesterday was any different than any other day. The rage coming from her came upon us out of the blue, like it always does - only it didn't end, it wouldn't be soothed, and it continued to grow as the hours passed us by.
Our first child to ever want to leave... our first call for help to come... our first time to have to make that gut wrenching decision to choose the safety of all, over the saving of one. She asked to leave... I didn't want to let her go.
I wanted to help her. I wanted to be the one. I wanted to soothe it away, and walk that road no one had ever walked with her, and I wanted to save her little self.
And I had to let go. We had to let go.
And she's "out there", and in less than 24 hours been moved twice, and they keep calling here asking "for help"... and I can hear her wail... and I can't get to her anymore.
Last week I was in great need... and my friend so desperately wanted to come to my home and clean and cook and love my children... but she was prevented from coming... She had to "let go" and trust that God would care for me in some other way.
And He did. And she learned to let go and trust Him.
How do we let go?
Father, hold her when I can't, protect her while we aren't, and love her like only You can. Defend her, console her, minister to her, heal her, stand in the gap for her, fight for her, whisper to her soul...
Show me that even in this I can trust You, and I can let go... because you never will.
No comments:
Post a Comment